At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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