Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
