i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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