What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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