He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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