I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
