her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
