is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
