i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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