worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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