I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
