I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
