if you like me you must not know who I am
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
