he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
