I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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