did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
