Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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