i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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