Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
