I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
