I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
