i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
