he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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