i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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