Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
