u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
