My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
