I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
