I wish i was in the wii world.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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