Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
