Non-Jews are for practice
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
