In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
