STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
