I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
