My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Someone shit on the floor
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
