After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
