Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
