isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
