u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
