I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
