she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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