is your mom at the bar?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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