It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
