And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
