All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
only if we run a train.
done.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
