Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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