I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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