Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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