Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
