I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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