Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
